youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
