This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
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I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
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Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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