the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
babies were throwing up all over the place
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
