Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
