Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
