Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
