i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
