So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
