I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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