Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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