4 words: hood of his car
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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