I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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