Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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