Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize