Where is the hickey?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
