Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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