i jhust puked up my retainher.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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