South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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