your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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