just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
