If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
