did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So squirting runs in the family.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
