i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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