I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize