Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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