first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
