I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
