Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
