In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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