chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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