I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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