No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
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All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
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So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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