I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
