We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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