cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize