Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
