Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
