we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize