yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
