I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Randomize
