I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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