Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
