I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
