Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
