I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
