youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
