Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
