What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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