i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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