I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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