In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
