Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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