No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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