Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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