i will never coherently bang her
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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