somebody snuck up and got me drunk
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
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I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
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He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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