o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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