We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
