ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We were destined to go to rehab together
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
