all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
